…forget…
September 11, 2001 was a hard day. Honestly it feels like everyday has been harder after that day. Hard in a way that is wasteful and time consuming.
Like the fact that some have to get a new AZ drivers license because AZ can’t pull their shizzz together with some federal regulation changes.
I have to measure the ounces of liquids as I travel, personal connections are lost as we have to wait for flights alone, and the worst of all — everyone is considered the enemy.
I’ll do it -- I'll make the changes — but I’m going to whine about it for a minute — because it is harder than it was. So much harder.
Come From Away is a beautiful musical (which I hope to see someday) that depicts the experiences of a small town in Newfoundland - Gander - a town that was turned upside down as they worked together to take care of airline passengers that were stranded there.
I "rolling tears down my face" sobbed through my first listen of the soundtrack — and I still cry at least once every time I listen. Today it was more tears than normal -- I listened differently. I learn something new about myself every single time.
I love this musical with my whole soul. It brings light and hope to the weighty HARD that now fills our lives after that day, that event, that tragedy.
I couldn’t think of a better way to share my thoughts about today (and life) than to use a few of the songs from Come From Away. If you get a chance - listen to it - really listen.
Welcome to the Rock
In this song they chant “I am an islander” — and they are so proud of their community and their connection to one another. That righteous kind of pride that builds each other up -- helps them to live and love in a better way.
What am I?
I am a proud American, a patriot, a defender of the flag. Do you know that about me? Have I shared my love for the Founding Fathers? My love of my time spent surrounded by members of the military? My deep respect for those men and women AND their families who sacrifice so much. So, so much. If not, I have failed indeed.
When else am I? I am a woman. I am a mother. I am a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a helper. Do I wear these hats alone? In solitude and with a martyr’s heart? Or do I invite others in, share my true self, open my heart to the hard task of being vulnerable? Do I breathe in the goodness that is everywhere and do I walk with arms open wide to embrace our differences and learn from each other?
I want to be like those islanders with their proud hearts bursting and their arms open to welcome and learn from others. I am an islander!
38 Planes
200-300 people on each plane with individual needs and fear the size of the whole world. 9,000 mouths to feed and hearts to heal.
We can’t even figure out how to feed, house and heal the 1000’s of homeless on our streets - what is our problem? We can’t get families back into their homes after natural disasters - because of so much protocol and damn red tape. How did they do it?
This SCREAMS overwhelm to me.
Overwhelm either shuts me down and I live in the world of “I’m not enough” OR I turn on the “martyr mania” = I’ve got this damnit!!! MOVE ASIDE!!! I think that is probably true for most of us — though some of you probably don’t swear.
What if I could be more like Gander - one bus, one bed, one meal, one heart at a time. Breathing and moving forward and loving and learning in the process.
If I could do that — I could handle 38 planes — or whatever life put in my path. If WE could do that we could feed and house and heal those that need our help.
Blankets and Bedding
They gathered, they sacrificed and they were glad to do it. Their humility is beautiful.
When I see the photos from 9/11 my heart hurts again. I want to wrap up the fire fighters, the police, those covered with dust with “blankets and bedding” — could it be that simple? When we see hurt and pain couldn’t we use our hearts and arms for blankets and bedding for those that suffer?
Often instead of gathering within my world and using the things (both outside and inside=stuff and feelings) that I already have — I tend to solve the problems that don’t exist, reinvent, make it more than it needs to be, secretly hope for a moment of glory. Then I miss out on the truth, I overlook the anchors, I lose focus on what’s really important.
Could it be as simple as blankets and bedding? I'm going to find that kind of humility.
28 Hours/Wherever We Are
They were stuck on a plane and lost in the middle of nowhere and had very little real information.
I felt stuck on that day — I think all of the world did. Not brave enough to move, too scared to get caught in more crossfire, and our hearts were hurting and grieving for those lost and for those who were now gone.
Wherever we were, we were glued to our TV’s. The kids got out early from school, Phillip came home early from work - whereever we were — we stopped, held our breath — and prayed.
I wished we could have gathered together somehow. Been able to use the strength and support of each other instead of feeling lost and alone.
Wherever we are — there can be connection and we need connection to be whole — we just do.
Darkness and Trees
I can not imagine being herded to buses with complete strangers in a foreign country in the dark. In the pitch black darkness.
It makes me panic just thinking about it.
Darkness is real. It’s consuming. It feels like drowning — in deep black depthless darkness.
On that day I felt that darkness. What’s next? Will it effect me? My children? My livelihood? My ability to find joy? Will there be war? Will it be here? Who else will die? Is there more coming?
I somehow found light.
I found light in the hundreds of workers digging through the rubble. In the New Yorkers covered with dust helping each other up off the ground. In the willingness of strangers to gather and connect. In the peace that I knew would come.
I reflect on finding light in my own darkness. I have people who help me dig through my rubble — and I’m so grateful. I have friends who willingly pick me up off the ground — I couldn’t do it without them. And most importantly I am learning to make and use the connections in my life.
We need each other to keep us out of the darkness and we need each other for light.
Need.
On the Bus
I absolutely LOVE how they portrayed the simple ways we can connect with ANYONE. We can learn so, so much from each other.
What would the world be like if we looked for our differences and were honored to be in the presence of those who don’t think or act like us.
It would be beautiful. So much more life and learning, peace and hope.
It would be so beautiful — it would “lead us out of the night...”
Costume Party
Wearing the clothes of strangers, sleeping by hundreds of people you don’t know, eating food you are unfamiliar with, pretending you are ok — that sounds both emotionally and physically exhausting -- like a messed up costume party.
Everything that was safe and familiar had changed -- the world was different -- I was different.
Once again, I wish we could have gathered together to share strength. Why didn't we? Were we too wrapped up in ourselves? Did we not know where to start? Were we afraid of being different?
Isolation is not the answer - never was and never will be.
Prayer
There were so many different beliefs and believers -- they shared and found comfort in those beliefs. They learned very quickly the necessity of acceptance, the desperate desire for peace and understanding -- they turned hopeless into hope.
Why are we so quick to fear those that believe differently? Do we think they have an infectious disease? It's completely ridiculous our world is filled with Westboro Baptists, Radical Islam, KKK, churches who openly teach false truths about other congregations -- I don't understand why.
Acceptance is easy. Acceptance is fueled by love and light. Acceptance is how we learn.
Turn off the hate. Turn off the fear. Turn on the light. Turn on acceptance.
Me and the Sky
What passion, what determination -- what fear, what loss. How dare they!!!
Why did they have to break they sky? Who said that was ok? How dare they!
Who gave them permission to break families, friends, coworkers? How dare they!
I hate it when something I love gets tainted. When someone purposely breaks my path to joy -- when they mock and jeer at something that I hold dear. How dare they!
Ok world -- keep your misery and ugliness and disrespect to yourself. I dare you to stop and find your own small moment of joy. Joy is so much better. So much.
Stop the World
They took a moment, a picture, into their hearts -- deep in -- and they wanted it to last forever. They TOOK the time to make the moment, to take the picture, to stop the hustle and bustle and write it deep in their hearts.
On September 11, 2001 -- we were forced to stop, forced to take a picture, forced to write pain and grief on our hearts.
We have forgot. We move too fast, we know too much, we are in a race going 10,000 miles per hour.
Today -- we miss so many moments, so many pictures, so much time is wasted not being present, not being there in the space to take the moment, the picture, the heart story.
Stop the world. Take a moment, a picture a heart story.
Breathe.
Something's Missing
They reflect on their unique experiences as they return to their lives and the changes and the missing pieces. The grief, the turmoil -- picking up their lives, moving on. Something's missing.
I didn't know the Twin Towers as a landmark. I didn't know their perceived strength, their stalwart towers in the sky. I had never been to New York.
I didn't know the homes that were lost, the business crushed, the people bloodied and bruised.
They did. New Yorkers did. They are a landmark. They are strong. They are stalwart.
They rebuilt their homes, their families, their bodies. They fought the fight and they have won.
New York is AMAZING. I love the chaos that fills the air on the gridded streets, between the sun covering buildings, on the miles and miles of pavement. It's moving, it's evolving -- maybe it's better than before.
They remember. They never forget that something's missing.
10 Years Later
This is my favorite part of this story. Hope, light, determination, growth, learning, connection, peace, friends, family, newness, compassion, empathy, joy, reflection -- but most of all love.
What will my life look like in 10 years?
How will I take what I learned on that hard, hard day and change my patterns, be different, embrace messy, speak my truth.
Maybe that could be MY favorite part of the story.
Hope, light, determination, growth, learning, connection, peace, friends, family, newness, compassion, empathy, joy, reflection -- but most of all love.
